Dear Darren's Landlord,
May I just start by expressing my contempt for you. Yeah, this is a great apartment, but you suck in so many ways it almost pisses you off to think how great a place this could be with your help. When Darren moved in here, we had to fix the half-assed repairs you made. Like that poorly constructed "DIY" unsupported shelf that fell out of the wall. Or figuring out how to stop the water heater from flooding. Or every drain in the house doing the exact opposite of what you want it to do. But let's concentrate on the oven door assaulting me, since that just happened and sent me over the edge. I've been nice, and cooked with that bloody thing, regardless of how hard it is to light the burners. Regardless of how long the oven takes to bake since the door won't close. Or lifting a heavy pan out of there with one hand while trying to hold the oven door so it won't fall off with my other hand. You keep saying you're going to fix it. Well, here's my idea: go out and get me a top of the line oven by next week or the next time that door injures me I'm ripping it off and beating you with it until you bleed money to purchase a new oven with. Cheers!